Category Archives: Book in a Year bet

Browning, not Browner!

I was eight, when my father walked out on us. I can only remember the shape of his face and unshaved beard that touched my face when he kissed me in the middle of the night. Mom can’t remember even that. He never said good bye to her.

My friends know it and they pitied me. Their parents wanted them to be considerate, so they never asked, why my father wasn’t around, but I knew from their dirt grey eyes that they knew. That was the life in our town – no one was left untouched by the ratchets of gossip, even children, who got all they needed to know from their parents. But I was lucky and pretty, made friends easily and they stayed, because we had big TV and free cable television.

On that fateful September night we had just branched out in our fully lit living room and dug out our study books, when Maybre turned the TV on. She searched through the channel with her usual rushed movements until she stopped on the news.

I never watched the news. They were horrible mix of death and despair and as I child I only wanted happy memories. It wasn’t because I was touched by the horror, but I simply chose not to take part of it. I had my broken heart. I didn’t need to add to the burden that would rip the wound farther.

She turned the volume on and one by one we all looked at the TV.

“I can’t believe someone could do that to a woman!” Hallee whispered from the sofa.

The news anchor was describing a murderer, who used needle work on the victim. I wasn’t listening her, but I remember seeing the bright image in my head of a lady sitting on a chair, head sagged on the back. Her legs were tied together and pulled together like piece of meat ready to be pushed into the oven.

I shrugged the image off.

“How many victims does he already have?” Maybre asked no one particularly, but she did look straight at me.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged, “I haven’t watched this.”

“You should!”

I was speechless. Why?

“Until they get that bastard you and us – we’re all in danger!”

“Don’t be silly, May! The killings take place in Tolsveren!”

“This one didn’t!”

We weren’t convinced. She did like drama and add to her truths. Hallee rolled her bright smart eyes and turned back to her homework as did I.

Maybre looked so distraught I couldn’t help but ask: “Then where, May?”

“In Montfort!”

“That’s still far enough,” responded Hallee and we left her sulking, delving in our books.

“Just imagine he could be someone from our city!”

“May! Montfort is hundreds of miles away!”

“Still, imagine if he was my father or your father or…” She pointed to Hallee and then turned her finger at me, frozen on spot. “Or your father!”

I probably grew gray hair right there. They did look dull after that fall.

It was outrageous, but all I could do at that point was to stare at her. I couldn’t even manage a smile.

“Uu!” she wheeled suddenly and shook herself so hard all her brown hair flew around, reminding me of jelly fish in deep-sea. “I wouldn’t wanna know you then!”

My heart sank. “What?”

“You don’t know who your father is – you might be daughter of that serial killer!”

Hallee shouted her name, deafening me for a moment.

“Oh come on, Hal! The murders started after her father left and she did receive a birthday card from Tolsveren only weeks before the first victim was found!”

“I should be afraid how much you know about that killer!” Hallee murmured, amazed by her facts.

When on Earth did she already connect me with that monster?

“They did say that he loves to use hunting rifle!”

“And this relates with me, how?”

“Because your daddy was in Hunters Society with my dad and he told me he took it with him!”

“And you can give the mold num…” Hallee mused.

“Probably semiautomatic Browner!”

“I’ll be damned…” I started, but Hallee burst laughing.

“It’s Browning!” she corrected Maybre


“Browner does not exist, darling!”

“Yes it does!”

“In your dreams! Your dad may be master hunter, but he is obviously lousy on gun models!”


With this they continued on different route and I was forgotten with my probable ancestry. But I sat on, frozen on my chair and staring at the screen behind Maybre. The newswoman had already moved on to some petty political argument, but I couldn’t get May’s logic out of my head. As long fetched as it sounded – what if she was right?


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Filed under Book in a Year bet, Dead Child's Portrate

Updating myself on my tasks

 Something good. A blog entry: “:Another Way to Love: GLBT Culture in the Age of Steam

I was amazed, it went well what I was looking for and it answered one question that had bugging me, plus it warmed my heart that I can finally refer to an entry in web that responses to what I see and feel and think. YES! Where was it when I was preparing for my final essay?

This means my story idea has merit and inspires to search more about it and built it strong.

About my stories. Yesterday, having forgotten almost everything behind, I made my year’s plan. At first I thought to make it to the end of the year, but as I have severeal things going, I decided to do it for entire year. Ummh… now I know my every move for the next year… it isn’t pretty… so much work…

Oh well. There isn’t anything I can do about it. If I want my goals to go through, I must work for it.

Edit. FANTASTIC FORUM! I am amazed by dislogical thinking human being can come up with. Not for children, seriously!

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Filed under Book in a Year bet, Working through ideas

…makes me wanna…

A friend of mine came to me last night and our conversation went again to my reading list and how much it contained books about writing. He is not pleased with it at all that I keep reading them instead of using my intuition to write. Ok, the topic is old to us already and I do feel that the time of studying would be over for me soon again and I would like to put it back in practice.

But he got ahead of me. Bluntly put, he blurted that he’d make a bet with me that I should write a book, send it to publishers and get one “yes” from at least one of them before the year is up. Oddly the idea had enough merit and now I’m doing it.

Give me few hours to get to the bottom of my promise now. I’m slightly shell shocked at this point that I even did it, but done it is – by the 1st of July, 2012 I’m to write a 100k words long book and get approval letter from whatever editor. If I win – he’ll buy me coffee. If I lose, I buy him coffee.

Why not? Time to put my studies in practice :).

Our bet agreement










Aside from that I did a little research on the odd flip of mind that I had few days ago. It’s based on a comment I happened on at Amazon. It stated that the person, who had written the book about helping you to write better books hasn’t written more than one published book themselves. Odd as it sounded, I decided to check it out.

It’s the part of research I think everybody hoping to gain knowledge from those books should take up, because the revelation was surprising. The old saying “who can’t do, those teach” found its way back to my daily use again. Apparently there are quite a number of writers out there that have written two or three books in their lives- one or two novels and then the how-to book on their experience as writing it.

Say what?

I haven’t got published yet, but have written a number of manuscript that are ready for editing and edited at least one to send it out. And did it. Though with no response. Do I qualify?

The problem wouldn’t be so touchy if the books those one-novel-miracles write on helping you write wouldn’t be so bad themselves. There are number of books that are helpful too, so I won’t put any names in the Bad List, because one way or the other they all help, but there is a huge pile of junk behind my book shelf, too.

It was just slightly irritating, considering that I do want to get better at what I do and do wish to have my own written novel in my hands one day and realize that all I have for help are those, who aren’t in much better state either.

Thankfully there are books among even them that help you far pass your own problems and do offer solutions to try out. Not to mention that those writers have published more than two good novels, too. Can’t really say that it’s a good measuring post, the two novel line, as I’m sure there’s a list of those authors, who give out in monster lists, yet aren’t that good. But those tend to press on in their novel writing work rather than teach how to do it.

Which reminds me again – put the books down and do some actual writing again.

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