Category Archives: my own works


After deleting 2k from the story, I managed to actually get my wordcount to 20k. After writing nearly 4k.

Perhaps not much, but that is far more than I was hoping for.


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Life does its corrections.

I say – life intervenes like bad parent. The thing is I have only a month to finish my book and send it out. Thank heavens I don’t have actual datum fixed by any publishers, but I feel bad about it nevertheless. It’s just two little factors, three even if to count my phone, which also acted as my e-reader.

One – I still haven’t got my computer back. I miss it tremendously. Though I can use brother’s pc and work computer, it is still far less than what I accomplished if I had my own personal computer with 24/7 access. Brother said he wouldn’t mind, but as we pretty much have breaks from work at the same time, I am the one feeling poor for occupying it all the time. There is another pc at home, but that’s strictly for business. Also, it’s looking grim on finances, so it will take few more months before I get it fixed.

Two – school. Surprise! Actually, it’s to do with the fact that my teacher approved my writing plan for bachelor thesis and wants to meet up in the beginning of May for updates on research. I chose the subject well – there’s massive amount of information to work through and even more massive work to write down. Also, school has been so far on the back of my lists and it’s starting to show. I need to put anything else I’m doing away and work on that for now. Bad side of it is that every time I say that I end up scribbling down more ideas than in months.

Three – my phone finished working. Again. Third time already and it’s getting irritated. Last time I had it somewhat 4-5 days and right before it froze and shut down yesterday, I downloaded the last app that would turn the phone from being just a phone into useful tool for me. Managed to load the books up, too… The phone is right now the only place I have time to read fiction from while I travel. It was ideal. And now it must go back in repairs and they’ll try to do something with it again. Good luck, because my patience is wearing thin – I just paid my last payment for it and that little fact is even more irritating in the light of probability of loosing it. So right now I’m putting my writing on the shelf and try to get back on line with my schoolwork, financial state and time planning. I have about ¾ written, so it shouldn’t be big problem to get back on saddle when ever I manage to get a moment.


Filed under my own works, writing trivia

Did I mention I had solid characters?

What if they turn out to be solid person? I am seriously thinking on sending the internet to hell for ruin my ideas all the time. Not so much ruin, but forcing me in depression over non-existing characters. But this time I don’t think I want to change him.

 Saul-Erik (33), Caucasian, male, who was born on the east side of Montfort, in a suburban city, fating itself up after 20 year crises. He was born in the end of Hippie era in a middle class family he was named after Kings of kings. Never fitting in, he ran from home at the age of 12. After 2 years on streets, he is picked up by a tall man, who offers him both a place and work. He takes him in a nice family in a neighboring city and learns there about the Hidden and sees firsthand what they go through. At the age of 15, he ends up in a middle of a riot and witnesses what changes his life forever. At the age of 17, he is reunited with his family, but is never really the same. Neither does he really return to his family, preferring his new one and after that he visits them, but never goes home again. During this time he witnesses another set of events that steadies his plans further, turning his plans into solid rock. He studies economics in university while preparing himself for the task ahead and after Rasmus gives him the leading position for the Hidden, he takes over with plans of giving the Hidden back the life before fear and heartache, restore the paradise, where one can walk their dog in daylight. But building a paradise and filling it with angels is never easy…

 My problem? It turns out there is one man in the monstrous world, who apparently has the same steady goal. Perhaps without the background, but the duty, the purpose, the… Yeah…

A friend once said, there is no same description on anybody. It’s just the sinking shock that the imagined man is real – I can’t seem to make up my mind if I ought to be flattered or cry.

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Filed under characters, elements of writing, my own works

Excitement turns to dust and depression flips its wings.

 In other words – how writer’s life is either dipolar disorder or Phoenix raised from its grave.

I spent 5 hours in the library yesterday and just wrote my novel instead of plotting it to pieces. In the evening I came to a grim notion that I have the emotions, characters, close to solid plot, scenes, places (got the street names for last!) and dilemmas, but somehow they aren’t interacting, the lovers are stiff and emotionally barren and oddly I’m still writing the plot that goes around the corner and doesn’t touch the characters at all. Neither are the small signs showing that I had figured out already and reasons why the society is as it is. Like watching jelly wobble on a windy day.

So today I’ve come to my conclusion that I will set the whole written part (1/9th of  100k) aside and start the story from the beginning once more. Because there simply isn’t anything that would show the plot in the character’s lived or vice versa.  That’s, what, third time now?

At least I figured it out now, ay? Not when I was in editing stage and read the book as if made of stiff puppets.

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Filed under my own works, Working through ideas

Sexual deviantism

!!! M-rating all the way! Mature eyes only!

 Uu! That’s one heavy headline.

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Continuing research

Interesting how one idea that has left you close to death with researching it out suddenly stops being interesting at all. Then, after half a month has past, its suddenly up and rolling again. I feel like suddenly I need to start working on it again as life isn’t a petty time passing by.

Today I had an exam I had prepared myself for quite some time. I feel like it suddenly put me back on track on working again. Perhaps its just the adrenalin finally leaving my body and having brains back again.

Or perhaps its the interesting topic of legislations of Soviet Union the teacher is talking about in front. Though surprisingly interesting topic (did you know there is a keep place in Siberia where they keep many documents related to Baltic states?), I must say the topic of How much to use real history in my story looks much more appealing.

I have decided to use background mix of real life, but to put the story in a made up society and the city.  Therefore I now need to know what and how I’ll put up as facts and what I will add. And there is still the question of their background. Like the man responsible for them. Who is he? Should it be he? In what terms did he work on such things?

Also, finish up the yoville love as well. That game is seriously distracting. While I’m at it. All the programs created for writing. I’ve come to conclusion that though helpful and though I kinda like using them, they are still not for me.  Working the system up is very time consuming. I think I’m still paper and pen person.  Having it all in one-two notebooks and then working from them seems still the best way I work. Plus no problems with different computers. I do like Dramatica Pro and Scrivener, which I think I will add to my writing systems after all   (I adore that I can create my own templates!). But everything else. No.

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Filed under my own works, Working through ideas

Recipe for the story

Yesterday I had a revelation. Though something so common, it never clicked before how and why I should do this. Using my old notes for new ideas.

I was sitting in the bus, half asleep of all the heat when it suddenly came to me. Add the Shop, kick the Mom and find the Daddy. Recipe for the ongoing story. My sleepiness was gone and so was my tired state I’d had throughout the summer. There’s something here, her big problem, her predicament, her secret! A shallow character suddenly got walls and her heart is not a naaah! moment anymore.

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Filed under characters, my own works