Tag Archives: Dead Child’s Portrate


We all have something in our past we are reluctant of coming public. I wish it was something embarrassing that I could simply get embarrassed with and get it over with. Unfortunately, I liked being special and being the only possible child for another very special person, I just loathed publicity.

“I thought you told them you’re searching your father?” Mykola innocence didn’t save him this time.

Saul-Erik asked something.  He was loosing his patience, asking this what felt like sixth time, but I wasn’t paying him much attention. I was busy beheading Mykola with my eyes.

Drops were forming over my hair, I could feel my hair greasing up. Or was it sweat? My throat was dry and my muscles suddenly ached from all the running yesterday.

Suddenly I felt Saul’s fingers close around my elbow and it was jerked from under me, forcing me to look at him.

“You are Huntsman’s daughter?”

I still didn’t see his eyes, only the gritting teeth and tense jaw muscles.

Oh great, I was near finding my beloved daddy and now this!

“Are you Huntsman’ daughter?”

He shook me violently, pressing me off my chair and forcing to look up. I didn’t like what I saw – his entire face had turned into grimace and for the first time in my entire life I actually felt the threat, the need to get away and hide as if being caught up by a grisly bear.

“Don’t you dear faint on me!” his yelling brushed over my hair and I felt the heat from his slap mix with pain. “Answer me!”

“Yes! I am Huntsman’s daughter!” I screamed, pulling myself away from his arm, but it didn’t happen. He was out of this world and everything I had imagined him do, this was worse. I never imagined him hit me. Get angry, turn away, but no hitting.

Suddenly he let me go and I fell away from his reach. I immediately thrust myself further away and hit against the wall. This wasn’t far enough, but it was furthest from anybody else in the living room.

His slap worked its way to my brain and the light throbbing from the red mark changed into headache. I wanted to cry.

This was why I didn’t want to tell them before I could reach my goal. Before I could finish the terror my father brought and make them understand I wasn’t the same. I am not my father, I don’t kill for pleasure!

I had to get Mykola away from here. If he says I have already taken a life, they would never believe I was different.

With that I gasped and I wanted to beg. In my entire life I had never had to beg, but tonight I was willing to do it, beg for Saul’s forgiveness and make them see that I wasn’t same with my father!

But if I even made a sound, he would have simply tossed me out on the street and I knew it. It didn’t matter right now that I had helped Rasmus or Malek or Harry. They were sitting there behind their round table and gagged by Mykola just as much as Saul was.

It was better to leave myself, I decided and dragged myself up from the corner, eyeing my chance as Saul had left in the bedroom.

I froze on the second step, Mykola standing on my way.

“That’s what happens if you hold back information, darling!” he whispered and grinned.

“Like you were much better!”

I only felt the wind as Saul pushed himself between us and pressed me back to the corner. “You knew and said nothing to me! That is hardly honesty!”

“Saul –“ I started, but he responded without looking at me.

“Get out. I will have no-one related with that monster in my house!”

“Yes sir.”

I didn’t even know why I had said it, but I used the moment and ran back to my house, out of their way and hid myself under my own rusty bed. I should have run further, but I reacted by hiding myself under my bed like I did whenever they showed my father on TV. Back then I waited friends to call and mock me for it, realizing I was his daughter. Tonight I was hiding for my life and that only because I was his daughter.

Six hours later I didn’t hear anything from their house anymore, but I didn’t come out either. The floor was cold and the wall molted, reeking of wetted wallpaper and old newspapers that I saw under it.

Suddenly I heard footsteps on the stairs. They were heavy, wearing big boots and I knew it was Rasmus, because no one else had such boots around here. The kind that clings every time the chains brush against the buckles.

I pressed myself further away. I knew I should have pulled the blanket lower to hide myself better from being seen from the door, but it was too late. He had already reached the door and the door handle creaked.

The door opened and he looked in.


I held my breath. My shoulder was in the light and I instinctively pulled it in the shadow.

He was about to close the door, when he probably heard my movement, because he reached his head out one more time and eyed lower.

He held his breath for a moment and I knew he had seen me, but instead of coming straight after me, he simply sighed and closed the door and left.

I panicked. I wanted to leave, but I could still hear him on the stairs, so instead I crawled up against the most darkest place  I could manage and I begged God to forgive me the killing in Sandlewoods, for trusting Mykola and for any misleading action I had ever taken, as long as he would keep me from their revenge. Moment later I cursed him for letting me be born, because this faith, I assumed, had to be punishment for doing something very bad in my youth. Or my mom doing something wrong, but there was only one thing my daddy was and that was our punishment.

I saw daylight sneaking in from the curtains. No one came, but I was sure they were just outside, waiting me to walk to them, spreading this news to everybody. My dad had killed nine of them – there couldn’t be a family out there, who wasn’t related to them one way or the other.

They could just torch the house? I was allergic to the mold, I was reminded by it when the tears mixed with the dust and it burned my cheeks, but why bother with cream if all they had to do is fire my house up?

I hit my fist against the wooden base, then again and again.

Right then I heard the door open again and it was enough to make my heart jump. I pushed myself back against the molted wall and held my breath.

I didn’t know the man, who entered, but he didn’t seem angry. Instead he seemed relaxed, looking around, getting acquainted with my papers on the nightstand.

Something cluck in his jacket pocket. He sat down on the bed and I heard it come out of his pocket right before he put it on the floor and tossed it to me.

“Here,” the low voice said, “Saul said he’s sorry.”

I looked at the bottle that had hit my elbow.

It was the one unmarked blue plastic water bottles Saul used to carry with him. The one that no one else was allowed to touch. The ones that had painkillers added to the water

He waited and I waited. I still didn’t say a word, didn’t even breath properly.

After ten minutes he had enough and he rose. “Anyway, Saul wants to see you when you get over this childish hiding game. Bye!”


I was out from under the bed and up before I understood he tricked me.

“See? That wasn’t that hard now, was it? Oooh!”

What ooh, I frowned.

“Perhaps shower first, then Saul.” He suggested chuckling and nodded towards the bed. “Unfortunately you need to climb after the bottle yourself,” he looked at me again, “but you already know the way I guess?”

He burst laughing and went, leaving me standing there like fish – gutted, molded and dehydrated.

But while I was there, contemplating my own death, I realized that it wasn’t gonna be that easy with my neighbors. Especially if Saul had the mentality to first cure his victims and then torture them again.


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Browning, not Browner!

I was eight, when my father walked out on us. I can only remember the shape of his face and unshaved beard that touched my face when he kissed me in the middle of the night. Mom can’t remember even that. He never said good bye to her.

My friends know it and they pitied me. Their parents wanted them to be considerate, so they never asked, why my father wasn’t around, but I knew from their dirt grey eyes that they knew. That was the life in our town – no one was left untouched by the ratchets of gossip, even children, who got all they needed to know from their parents. But I was lucky and pretty, made friends easily and they stayed, because we had big TV and free cable television.

On that fateful September night we had just branched out in our fully lit living room and dug out our study books, when Maybre turned the TV on. She searched through the channel with her usual rushed movements until she stopped on the news.

I never watched the news. They were horrible mix of death and despair and as I child I only wanted happy memories. It wasn’t because I was touched by the horror, but I simply chose not to take part of it. I had my broken heart. I didn’t need to add to the burden that would rip the wound farther.

She turned the volume on and one by one we all looked at the TV.

“I can’t believe someone could do that to a woman!” Hallee whispered from the sofa.

The news anchor was describing a murderer, who used needle work on the victim. I wasn’t listening her, but I remember seeing the bright image in my head of a lady sitting on a chair, head sagged on the back. Her legs were tied together and pulled together like piece of meat ready to be pushed into the oven.

I shrugged the image off.

“How many victims does he already have?” Maybre asked no one particularly, but she did look straight at me.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged, “I haven’t watched this.”

“You should!”

I was speechless. Why?

“Until they get that bastard you and us – we’re all in danger!”

“Don’t be silly, May! The killings take place in Tolsveren!”

“This one didn’t!”

We weren’t convinced. She did like drama and add to her truths. Hallee rolled her bright smart eyes and turned back to her homework as did I.

Maybre looked so distraught I couldn’t help but ask: “Then where, May?”

“In Montfort!”

“That’s still far enough,” responded Hallee and we left her sulking, delving in our books.

“Just imagine he could be someone from our city!”

“May! Montfort is hundreds of miles away!”

“Still, imagine if he was my father or your father or…” She pointed to Hallee and then turned her finger at me, frozen on spot. “Or your father!”

I probably grew gray hair right there. They did look dull after that fall.

It was outrageous, but all I could do at that point was to stare at her. I couldn’t even manage a smile.

“Uu!” she wheeled suddenly and shook herself so hard all her brown hair flew around, reminding me of jelly fish in deep-sea. “I wouldn’t wanna know you then!”

My heart sank. “What?”

“You don’t know who your father is – you might be daughter of that serial killer!”

Hallee shouted her name, deafening me for a moment.

“Oh come on, Hal! The murders started after her father left and she did receive a birthday card from Tolsveren only weeks before the first victim was found!”

“I should be afraid how much you know about that killer!” Hallee murmured, amazed by her facts.

When on Earth did she already connect me with that monster?

“They did say that he loves to use hunting rifle!”

“And this relates with me, how?”

“Because your daddy was in Hunters Society with my dad and he told me he took it with him!”

“And you can give the mold num…” Hallee mused.

“Probably semiautomatic Browner!”

“I’ll be damned…” I started, but Hallee burst laughing.

“It’s Browning!” she corrected Maybre


“Browner does not exist, darling!”

“Yes it does!”

“In your dreams! Your dad may be master hunter, but he is obviously lousy on gun models!”


With this they continued on different route and I was forgotten with my probable ancestry. But I sat on, frozen on my chair and staring at the screen behind Maybre. The newswoman had already moved on to some petty political argument, but I couldn’t get May’s logic out of my head. As long fetched as it sounded – what if she was right?

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Saul-Erik Reinger

Why I love this character so much, is because despite being an impact character, since I’ve created him some years back, he has grown a lot from being just a name to someone, who I can really relate to.

The name.  King Saul was distinguished for the greatness of his knowledge and for his great physique. He was king appointed by God, who his people didn’t recognize as worthy.  He wasn’t the best of the kings, but there are certain points in his life that remind me of, who Saul-Erik is.  Erik Thorvaldsson, the Norse king Erik the Red, was the one, who first created Norse settlement in Greenland.

Saul-Erik was born in summer 1969. His first years were spent in a family with power hungry father. He ran away, when he was just 9, but didn’t spend much time on the streets. He was found and picked up by Rasmus, his future mentor, who took the boy to his friend’s family, who already had a small boy, Oliver.  They grew up together and became inseparable, like brothers. They are very different in nature, Oliver being more closed up that he is, but they complement each other and they appreciate the critics and advice both offer. This can’t be said to Saul-Erik’s genetic family.

They travelled a lot, when he lived with them, often because the family belonged in a group that was experimented on in 1950s. The society fears them and the others like, because of the history. They are often scared off by locals after they find out, too blinded by fear, so in time, the group becomes more secluded than ever. This constant fear of being found out and the childhood fear of possibility of “caring citizens” taking him away from the family, is what thrives him to this day.  There was an incident, when one time it almost happened and that fear haunts him still. He might not share their blood, but he is forever thankful for their generosity for taking him in and offering him loving family.

While he is there, Rasmus, noticing his leadership abilities, starts training him. Rasmus is the previous leader of the group, before the group had to disintegrate over night. He hasn’t given up on the idea of bringing the group back together, but he knows he won’t be the one doing it. Saul-Erik, however, proves to be eager material for transformation and so he begins teaching him everything he knows in order to him one day make his plan come true.

When he is 17, in his stepfather’s urging to make amends with his family, he returns to home, but only stays there until he turns 18 and then rejoins Oliver’s family. He doesn’t get along with his father still after all the years.

Meanwhile, Rasmus takes care that Saul knows, who he is preparing to be and gets educated accordingly. He masters economics and real-estate. He knows all the time, that he will one day be set with responsibility over the group and he takes this responsibility very seriously. His mission is simple, but hard to accomplish. Create a haven to those, who are hunted by the society for belonging in the human experiment group, plus few others. A place where they could just sit outside, walk to a shop or walk their dogs without being brought out to be problematic creatures that they were. The idea was simple, the theory doubtful, but the creating was beyond anything he planned to have.

He grows up to be 5’8 tall and medium built. His dolomite grey eyes and light hair often diminish any argument and give others impression that he means business. The only scar he bares, is the one running across his right hand wrist. It was bicycle accident from when he was 14, but because everybody joked about it “that’s a way to try to meet his maker”, on benigh fooling, he had a bracelet tattoo. His stepfather gifted him a silver bracelet to mark the foolishness of his and now he wears a tattoo around his right hand wrist with a silver bracelet. It gives impression of cover-up and those, who don’t know the story think he attempted suicide and lived. He lets them believe to certain level.

By personality he is considered to be well-honed in diplomacy and he is very honest. He indeed knows diplomacy, but he can’t second the latter. Since 1998, when he began his mission to bring the group back together and started his business of buying and then resettling the bought houses with “his kin”, he has been anything but honest to outsiders. To his own people, he is young and full of potential and he tries to stay honest with them as much as possible, but to outsiders he has fixed a reputation to keep them away. It has brought him in attention of the police, but having been observed throughout his life by the “caring society”, he knows well how to play that game.

His plus would be his strength and passion hi puts in his mission. His strength seems to spread around in the room, when he walks in. On the other hand it makes him obsessed with control. He is very cautious, who he lets in the group and how big risks he allows his kin to take. He doesn’t always hold them back, but they know the last look he sends after them, when they leave, is filled with worry. That sometimes makes others question if the man is prepared to take tough decisions if needed, but because he has proven otherwise in several occasions in the past, they, as for now, look past that, never facing up to him with it. However, he is aware of it and that makes him insecure sometimes. He turns out to be very arrogant sometimes; often blunt and very open about what he wants.

He is an impact character. So, he is impact character to Evelyn. Evelyn is a woman, who travels in his town to find her father. He learns of her from Mykola, when the man comes searching for a new hiding place, because his previous cover has been blown. While he is staying in the house next door, he tells him stories of her and his own search for normality and how she nearly completed his quest, offering it to him. Saul-Erik realizes, listening him, that he does not want to sacrifice his own happiness for the group. He has already dedicated his entire life to them, but he doesn’t wish to end up alone because of that. His own created paradise has turned into personal emotionless prison. But he loves listening Mykola’s stories and he secretly falls in love with that ideal woman, who offered normality for abnormal. After a while, Mykola leaves and he is left with longing for something he knows could jeopardize his mission.

But then Evelyn calls in his firm and asks to rent a house. Learning, who she is, he makes the one uncalculated decision and selfishly gives her the house next door to his. An outsider deep inside the group territory. Two days later his rational thinking returns and he deeply regrets it, especially when he learns that she might be a bounty hunter. He knows that people like that can be bought and this creates him problems – if he lets her follow her trail, she might find information that will be harmful for the entire group should she ever think selling it. On the other hand he is fascinated of the woman he has heard so much about and that creates a problem of his own, the sort Rasmus can’t help him with.

What happens next you can read in the book next year ;) .

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